fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
