You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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