I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
