I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
