Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
