O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We left the knife in your bed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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