Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
