I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
