that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wear drunk well.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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