I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
