if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
