He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
