i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
