i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
