I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
