This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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