There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
