think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
