ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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