Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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