is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
