Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
