Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
