Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
