porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
