If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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