I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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