White coat. Heels.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They are going to name an STD after you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
