The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
