its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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