just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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