why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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