I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize