dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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