We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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