Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
