I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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