Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
