your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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