Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
