Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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