College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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