Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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