I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
