THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
