Your tits are I can't wait for
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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