is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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