how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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