your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
