Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
