It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh god it's open bar.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
