Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
