make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
