I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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